RWBY Jackass
by Chad Emperor of Mankind
Summary: "Hi! I'm Jauney Knoxville and welcome to Jackass!" This series features the best, hilarious, dumbest, and dangerous stunts ever preformed by your favorite characters from the series, RWBY. Send in Ideas for events you want to see happen via Reviewing.
1. Intro

**WARNING** : _The stunts in this movie were performed by professionals with Auras unlocked. So neither you nor your dumb buddies should attempt anything from this movie._

The streets in downtown Vale were clear of people completely as smoke filled one end of the street. It was silent until the rumbling of a stampede was here. Emerging from the smoke were Teams RWBY, JNPR, SSSN, and CRDL all running like hell. Behind them was a massive herd of bulls and cows that had been let loose on them.

In the lead of the entire group was Jaune Arc. He wore his sneakers and worn jeans like usual. However instead of his hoodie and armor, he wore a black t-shirt with a beaten up skull on it with crutches acting as the crossbones and sunglasses over his eyes. He turned to the camera and shouted over the herd and everyone else.

"HI! I'M JAUNEY KNOXVILLE AND YOU'RE WATCHING JACKASS: BEACON EDITION!" Jaune shouted loudly right before the stampeding herd trampled over everyone.

 **(Cue "Corona" by the Minutemen)**

The screen went black as the Jackass Logo appeared on the screen. Then the music went into full blast as they went to one scene in which Nora was riding an Ursa like a bullrider. She wore full cowboy clothing and held her cowboy hat in her left hand by the brim while holding the reins with her right.

The next scene cuts over to Team RWBY and SSSN running through to hallways filled with hanging tasers and cattle prods while in black and white prison clothing.

The following clip showed Pyrrha and Jaune in protective clothing dumping an entire hive of bees into a limo via the sunroof while Team CRDL is locked inside.

A new scene popped up revealing Neptune dangling over a lake with a bungie rope on. His expression is one of pure terror.

The next scene is of Weiss and Ruby falling through the ceiling into this office room filled with people dressed as robbers.

The final scene is of Jaune jumping out of dark in Team JNPR's room and pushing a toilet plunger down on the side of Ren's head.

 **JACKASS: BEACON EDITION**

 **The scene cuts to Jaune in his Jackass outfit with Pyrrha next to him in a similar t-shirt and jean shorts.**

 **J: Hi. I'm Jauney Knoxville here with my partner in crime and girlfriend, Pyrrha "Pumpkin" Nikos. Today we will be asking you readers to submit ideas for us to do since the show RWBY is kinda...Well it needs less death of main characters than that stupid film series project we are acting on. I mean come on? Four Maidens? Cinder Fall? What a joke.**

 **P: I know. I really did not appreciate my role in that series in which I ended up dying in the last episode in Season Three for something stupid as going after Cinder Fall even though she not only beat Ozpin but Beacon was being evacuated. After all, why would my death be needed to unlock Ruby's silver eyes? Why not have them get unlocked when she witnessed Penny's accidental dismantling?**

 **J: Well just be glad that the CGI effects were excellent and that no one has actually died in the making of the RWBY TV series. Although, honestly, the Grimm are real and so is Aura, Semblances, Hunters and Huntresses along with the White Fang. But that's aside the point. Anyway, this is our real pride and joy right here. A bunch of friends getting together to film ourselves doing stupid and dangerous stunts for your viewing pleasure.**

 **P: That's right, Jauney. Anyway, we need you guys to send us ideas for stunts while we come up with some of our own. So send us a message in the Review section down below so we can get to work on it.**

 **J: That's right. Now make sure you start sending us ideas and we will provide you with entertainment.**


	2. No Balls Ice Challenge & Bacon Strips

**Stunt One: No Balls Ice Challenge**

Outside in the courtyard of Beacon Academy Teams RWBY, JNPR and SSSN snickered as Neptune 'Ocean-mon' Vasilias was down in his underwear sheepishly. Jauney, with his sunglasses on, had a huge grin on his face as he and Sun 'Sunny' Wukong held a bucket of ice and a bucket of cold water.

"Okay so in less than a hour, we already got our first request from emmanuelhenry135. He wants to see Neptune go through the No Balls Ice Challenge. So that's why he's down in his undies with Sunny and I holding ice and water buckets." Jauney explained to the camera, Neptune nervously waving at it.

"Hi. I'm Ocean-mon and this is the **No Balls Ice Challenge**." Neptune introduced himself, still nervous about having cold water and ice dumped into his underwear.

"Relax, Neptune. Think of the coldness as Weiss's hand holding your boys." 'Angry' Yang Xiao Long advised them, earning laughter from everyone else but Weiss and Neptune.

"Be glad it don't use my glyphs on you, Yang!" Weiss 'Ice Queen' Schnee retorted, watching as Neptune reluctantly stretched the front part of his underwear out. Jaune slowly dumped the ice into it, causing Neptune to gasp at the freezing cubes of water against his groin. As soon as Jauney stepped back, Sunny dumped the bucket of cold water onto Neptune, earning a scream from the blue hair teen. This earned another roar of laughter as he began to do a jig in order to stop thinking about his balls freezing off.

"Dance, motherfucker!" Nora shouted, further bruising the ego of Neptune. They watched this happen for about a minute until Neptune had enough and took his undies off. He started running towards the nearest source of hot water while in the nude, earning the blushing of Weiss and the laughter of everyone else. The cameraman followed him all the way to the male showers in the locker room where Neptune jumped into the nearest hot bath and sighed in relief at the warmth.

"Oh yeah...That's better..." He muttered before sinking deeper into the tub. "Holy shit. I almost thought I was going to have to see a doctor about getting my balls out of my stomach and back into the sack. Thank Oum, that was close..."

The camera view shifted back to the others outside, still laughing at what happened.

"I guess that's how you literally get blue balls the fast way." Sunny joked, causing everyone to laugh harder.

 **Stunt Two: Bacon Strips**

The cast of RWBY and RWBY Jackass was now at an animal farm owned by a member of Professor Port's family. A pig farm to be exact. Besides the usual teams and the film crew, Team CVFY was there along with Professor Port himself and his brother, William Port. William was an exact twin of Port except in suspenders and a farmer's shirt. Nearby Coco Adel was grumbling as she was putting on a pig suits with her clothes over it.

"So this idea of having Coco in a pig suit while stripping was sent in by Mr. Green37 along with the next skit." Jauney explained, now wearing jeans with a belt, cowboy boots, a tucked in white button-up shirt, and a cowboy hat on his head. "However we decided to spice things up by having her strip while in the suit to a bunch of male pigs and see if some of them get horny. Also the director had Port's brother douse the outside of the suit with female pig pheromones to give his pigs some incentive. By the way, she has no idea about the pheromones so she's going to be pissed with the director when she find out."

The camera cut to a nineteen year old with short shaggy brown hair, white skin, a stubble/growing beard on his chin and upper lip, and blue gray eyes under a pair of sleek glasses. He was wearing faded blue jeans, no brand sneakers, a denim jacket over a gray t-shirt with the faded black word "DONE" on the upper front, and a Vale Valkyries Ballcap on his head. He noticed the camera aimed at him and gave it a mischievous grin before turning back to the pig sty.

"Hi. I'm Coco Adel and this is **Bacon Strips**." The fashionista told into the camera before placing the pig mask over her head.

 **(Cue "Party Boy Theme")**

Coco jumped over the fence and into the large sty with the pigs. The pigs, took notice of her and watched boredly as she started to do some dirty dances. Somehow, the film crew brought along a portable stripper pole for her to use in the sty. She slowly started dancing on the pole, removing articles of clothing one at a time. The other Jackass members started to cheer and shout mockingly, tossing monopoly money at her like one would at an actual strip club.

As she did this, some of the pigs slowly waddled towards her, the smell catching their attention. By now she was down in her underwear when one big pig waddled up to her leg to start humping it. Everyone was laughing as Coco tried to shoo the pig away. However this particular pig was horny and ended up knocking her to the ground. The laugher increased as the pig tried to hump her. However Coco was furious. She immediately pushed the pig off and scrambled out of the pig pen.

"What the hell!? Why did that one start humping me!?" Coco screamed as she ripped the pig mask off to breath.

"Simple really, my dear! Your director over there wanted to make things interesting so he requested that I spray female pig pheromones onto your suit to attract the pigs!" William Port replied, causing Coco to go after the running director. By now, the director was laughing along with everyone else, despite being chase by an angered fashionista. Coco tackled him into some mud and started punching his shoulder in anger. She got off of him and proceeded to remove the pig suit off of herself.

"Never again will I do something like that! That was disgusting!" Coco told the camera, brushing past another cameraman on screen. This one was a Hispanic man with tanned skin, black trimmed hair and blue eyes. He had on a pair of jeans, sneakers, a denim jacket and a Valean Marine Corps ball cap on his head. This guy was their top cameraman, Greg Pineda.

"Well at least we saw the making of bacon strips." Ruby "Red" Rose replied, earning another round of laughter from the crew and cast.

 **Stunt Three: Rapier Wasp Mayhem**

The entire Jackass crew and cast were out near the cliffs to the Emerald Forest near Beacon Academy. Team SSSN, consisting of Neptune 'Ocean-mon' Vasilias, Sun 'Sunny' Wukong, Scarlett David, and Sage Ayana were all naked with their 'boys' covered in Red Sap.

"Oh man...I feel sorry for Neptune already..." Lie 'Ninja' Ren commented, recalling how Neptune already suffered from the No Balls Ice Challenge already. "But this is for the viewers."

Nearby, several rapier wasp keepers were busy trying to get the wasps ready as the director grimaced at this before shaking his head. "Now I really regret having to be the one to film this shit. There has to be a line somewhere to be drawn. Then again, we aim to break the line anyway."

"Hi! I'm Sunny and this is Rapier Wasp Mayhem at the request of once again, Mr. Green37!" Sun spoke into the camera, himself being nervous about this stunt as well. The waspkeepers opened the nest and rushed back as a swarm of wasps flew towards Team SSSN. Meanwhile, a baby Beowolf managed to climb all the way up to the clifftops and at the smell of fear, rushed at the boys. The boys instantly took off running, both chased by Rapier Wasps and the baby beowolf that the cameras were turned off due to graphic content.

 **Later...**

Team SSSN was transported out via medical airship due to massive damage to their groins by the wasps. The baby beowolf had been literally punted by Yang back into the Emerald Forest down below. The camera cutted to the director who was shaking his head. "Well, Team SSSN will be down for the next few episodes but they will make a full recovery. Yeah...This is probably the worst stunt in Jackass history to have gone wrong. As a result, we will not be using Rapier Wasps but normal bees instead. That way, it's getting stung once and then the bees die. In all seriousness, we are not doing that again.

 **(The Camera cuts to a segment with Pyrrha and Jaune again)**

 **J: Well that was one helluva episode of Jackass right there. Still that last stunt was stupid. Apparently Mr. Green37 wanted that baby Beowolf but it was too much.**

 **P: Man...That's making me feel pain down there even though I have a V instead of a D and a set of balls.**

 **J: No arguing there. Anyway, Team SSSN is out for one chapter so I would recommend making some more suggestions down the road for us to do. And you can do that in two ways.**

 **P: First, you can click the Review Button at the bottom of the page and send in your request through the review system.**

 **J: Or you can click on the Letter Icon above next to marinerecon's name and send him a PM requesting your stunt there. And remember. Do not try this shit at home.**


End file.
